Scared dogs hate being left alone — they need patience, a safe space — and maybe a little trip to the vet

By Strider the Dog

Dear Strider,

I wouldn’t usually think of writing to a dog with a problem, but I do have a question that Ask Strider might have some insight into. It’s about a friend’s dog, really. I know people couch questions as being for someone else, not themselves, but this really is about my friend Linda and her 4-year-old dog, Dot. Dot is a rescue Staffordshire/ Chihuahua mix who looks like a Dalmatian. Linda was here for lunch yesterday. She had to get home to Hollywood because lately Dot has had terrible anxiety whenever Linda goes out and manages to break out in spite of many barricades. 

The only thing I could think of was Prozac. Here is the picture of what Dot did while Linda was out:

Strider, do you have any suggestions for Linda and Dot? They’d appreciate any help.

— Sally in Los Angeles

Dear Sally,

As a matter of fact, I do have a lot of experience with this personally. Carrie at the dog orphanage would tell everyone I was “an escape artist,” which might have been why I stayed at her ranch for six months before Tod called to ask about me. When Carrie told Tod the story of my many breakouts — three times runaway from adoption homes, and one time I got out of her truck through a crack in the window (I don’t know why that was such a big deal, I was waiting by the side of the truck when she came out) — Tod worried I’d run away from her. But Carrie is a very wise person. She said just from the sound of Tod’s voice, she didn’t think that was going to happen.

With Tod, I never ran away. But if Tod went anywhere without me, I was scared I would lose her forever. I always tried my best to look for her.  One time she went out to lunch at a restaurant a few blocks away. I was asleep, so she figured it was OK. Un-uh. I woke up, and panicked. Where’s Tod? I let myself out her study door, scratched open another door, opened the front door, and waited anxiously for her outside.

She was very surprised to see me. I was so relieved to see her. I can tell you that if those doors had been double locked, they would have looked like your picture.

This was all in our first few years together. I was very anxious around other people for a while, always worried someone was going to take me away. I tried to make sure that wouldn’t happen.  So this is where I have some experience.

You don’t say how long Dot and Linda have been together. You also don’t say what kind of a shelter Dot came from. The last place I was in, before Carrie rescued me and took me to her dog orphanage, was what they call a Kill Shelter. I shiver when I remember that. They kill the dogs that they can’t adopt out. The atmosphere there is very scary. You’re always on edge thinking you’re going to be next. They take your friends away, one by one, and you never see them again. They think you don’t know where the dogs went. But you do. You know who is happy to be adopted, and who is frightened to be led outside alone. It’s by the smell.

I don’t like to remember that smell.

If Dot came from a place like that, I bet she’s terrified someone is going to take her away from Linda and back to the Kill Shelter. So she’s probably out of her mind with anxiety when she gets left alone. For the first few years, I was even scared to be left alone in the car. You should see the inside of Tod’s car. I look at that now, kind of ashamed. I can hardly remember the dog who did that. I like being left in the car now, even though sometimes it’s too hot for that, and I have to stay at home.

Now I know no matter how long she goes away, she’ll always come back. But it took a long time for me to realize that.

You say Dot is 4 years old. That’s around the time we dogs start to grow up and get more of a grip on the world around us. Is she crate trained?  If so, that’s a good safe space to leave her in when Linda goes out. So it might be that if Linda is gentle with her, and patient, and tries to take Dot with her as much as she can, leaving her in a safe space when she can’t — the car, or her crate at home with something that smells like Linda and some water and snacks — that Dot will get more used to the idea that she’s living with Linda for good now. She’ll slowly realize she won’t be sent back to that awful place. I mean, they do the best they can at Kill Shelters, but I wouldn’t want to be sent back either.

Also, Linda should talk seriously to her veterinarian, and see what they suggest. They might prescribe tranquilizers, just to calm Dot down. I bet they suggest a safe space too.

Please let Linda and Dot know I’m rooting for them. Let me know how they get on. Now that Dot’s found her Forever Home, I’d hate to see that get messed up.

Good luck.

Strider was a street dog. Now he’s a dog about town, loving his life in his own Forever Home. Got a problem? He’s anxious to be of help. Just email [email protected] .