I’m Strider the dog. I’m here to help.
By Strider the Dog
Dear Strider,
Yesterday I ran into an old friend after work. We ended up going out. There wasn’t a good signal at the bar, so I forgot to text my partner, and her texts to me got lost. I was having a great time, and got home late. Well, really late, if I’m being honest
Now she’s mad at me. I get that she was worried, but shouldn’t I be allowed to go wild once in awhile?
Any advice for me?
—In the Doghouse
Dear In,
Totally get this. You’re off the leash, you can’t hear your loved one calling, and there’s this great big pile of dead seagull and old crab just asking for a roll.
I’ve been there. Here’s my best advice: do not, under any circumstances, use the “shouldn’t I be allowed once in awhile” argument. That’s cat behavior. Act sheepish, apologize, and definitely take a bath before you give her a hug.
Then do what I do. The next time she wants to have lunch alone with a friend, and it’s too hot to leave you in the car, tell her to go and have a good time. Don’t act hurt that she wants to leave you at home.
Also if she starts calling you “Mr. Naughty,” just suck it up.
Good luck (and solidarity).
Dear Strider,
What is the appropriate way to respond to an email such as the one I received from a friend? She just lost her partner, but the email is mostly a fantasy of what her life was like with him. I know it isn’t true, and she’s making it up to make herself feel better. Any ideas on what I should say?
—Concerned Friend
Dear Concerned,
I get it. You want to be there for your friend, but you don’t know whether it’s co-ing with her or not to respond.
I’ve been there. My friend Noodle pours his heart out to me about how much he loves my packmate Shadow. He says he knows she’ll love him back once she gets over her bad mood. Shadow thinks he’s a loser and wants him to go away and stop bothering her.
So I make soothing noises. I say, “I hear you, bro. That’s harsh.”
Maybe you could respond to your friend with something similar? Something like, “This must be really tough for you. Sending big hugs.”
That should do it.
Good luck.
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