Ask Strider: Our advice columnist reaches out a helping paw

You can always use a helping paw. Image by giselastillhard from Pixabay
July 16, 2024

Sad? Mad? Feeling tired and down? Strider is here to help!

By Strider the Dog

Dear Strider,

You had a letter from a dog owner awhile ago where the dog had been traumatized, and she was being really patient and loving with it, in hopes that the dog would recover.

It was great that you supported them, hoping the dog would get more comfortable and kind of back to normal.

Would you give the same kind of answer to someone who wrote in asking about a human who behaves that way?  Is patience and love the only way? And what about family members who can’t handle expressions of trauma and are exhausted by it? What should they do?

I know you’re only a dog, but dogs are very empathetic. So maybe you can weigh in on this one.

Tired Human

Dear Tired,

Strider the Dog

This has got me feeling a little helpless. I am a dog, and I am empathetic, but sometimes all I can do is look up at the human I want to help and put my paw on their foot.

So here I am putting my paw on your foot.

It’s a tough one with humans who act out their trauma, because they have more free will than even we dogs do. A traumatized human can decide to act differently, though a lot of the time that’s too painful. Maybe they’re suffering and that’s the best they can do.

I had a pack mate, Pearl, who was much older than me. She had what they call doggy dementia. She would see things that weren’t there. She would get angry with me for no reason and bite me on the tail. At first this made me mad. But then I realized she couldn’t help it, and besides, she was a member of my pack, which is what we dogs call family. I had an obligation to her. So I tried to be patient, and affectionate when I could, and just left her alone when I couldn’t. When it was too much for me, I knew it was time to go hang out with the Old Cedar Tree instead.

I missed her a lot when she was gone.

Bottom line: you can’t get rid of your family. You just need to be patient and love them as much as you can. And not beat yourself up when you can’t, but go sit under a tree for a while. Or talk to someone who won’t wind you up about it. I understand there are people who specialize in that!

In the meantime, I hope you can feel my paw on your foot. Really.

Oh Strider,

People make me so sad and mad.  They yell at their dogs as if they expect them to know what they mean.  When someone yells, “Go potty. NOW” — I mean, do dogs have any idea what that means?  If I were a dog (and I’m not), I would be so unhappy living with these kinds of people who don’t treat their friends with love and respect. What do I do about people who don’t love their dogs?  Oh, and the other people who leave their dogs alone for hours and hours.  When someone finally comes home, I hear the dog crying so happily (Yay, my human came back), and then they get yelled at again. What’s a dog or a human to do? Please tell, Strider!

— Sad/Mad

Dear Sad,

Boy, my paw is getting a workout today. Can you feel it on your foot?

I love that you’re sad for the dogs. But I am here to tell you that dogs are way more resilient than you might think. Look at me and Shadow. I ran away from three different homes, lived on the desert eating rocks in between being caught and sent to three different shelters (you should see my teeth), and I still ended up one of the happiest dogs I know. Shadow had a horrible early life. She was a stray on the desert, and she ran away from everybody until the shelter finally trapped her. After that, she hid in a corner of her cage, shivering with fright, before Carrie Wright rescued her and took her to the Fedwell Farms dog orphanage. That was where Shadow found her forever person. And even if she doesn’t like strangers or loud noises much now (to say the least), she loves her pack and is super happy when she gets to run around with us in the forest or at the beach.

Here’s my point. We dogs love our humans, when we find one. We even love the humans who aren’t as nice as they can be. I mean, after all, sometimes we’re not as nice. Hard to believe, I know. But sometimes we bark too much, or gnaw on a guardian’s precious possessions, or throw up on the bed. These things happen.

Really, it’s about forgiveness. And love. And short memories!

So maybe the humans you’re hearing are having a bad day, or they had to leave the dog home alone and feel so guilty they shout at the dog instead. And their dogs understand that. Because if it’s just a human who is like that all the time, and doesn’t love their dog, maybe the dog will be like me and Shadow and hit the trail until they find someone who does.

It can happen.

Feeling sad? Feeling mad? Feeling happy and want to cheer up someone who feels sad or mad? Why not join our advice columnist in the conversation? Email [email protected].

Picture of Tod

Tod

Southern Oregon Subaru Medford Oregon

Related Posts...

Ask Strider: The friend column

Ask Strider: Our advice columnist turns to the problems of making friends and keeping them. As usual, he counsels restraint in troubled friendships, and asks the Old Cedar Tree what to do about making friends in the first place. The Old Cedar Tree has interesting thoughts on the subject.

Read More »

Ask Strider: The gratitude column

Ask Strider: In this column greeting the new year, Strider is grateful for so many things — people, memories and feelings, good and bad. From an organization that helps dogs on the street, to a reader imagining a chip encoded with a dog’s entire story, to the warmth of kind wishes during sad times, Strider embraces it all. His paw on your foot. Really.

Read More »

Our Sponsors

Klamath Bird Observatory Experience the wonders of Souteast Brazil Ashland Oregon
Conscious Design Build Ashland Oregon
Pronto Printing Ashland Medford Southern Oregon

Latest posts

Are you gun and gun law savvy? Find out March 4

“Be Gun Smart… Whether or Not You Own a Firearm” is a free public program set for 4 to 5:30 p.m. Tuesday, March 4, in the Gresham Room at the Ashland Public Library, 410 Siskiyou Blvd. The speakers will be Ashland Police Chief Tighe O’Meara and Jackson County Sheriff Nate Sickler. 

Read More >

Ashland offer free Narcan training Wednesday, Feb. 12

The Ashland Community Emergency Response Team will offer training on how to offer basic medical aid, including administering naloxone in case of opioid overdoses, on Wednesday evening, Feb. 12. The training is free and open to the public starting at 6 p.m. at Ashland Fire Station No. 1 at 455 Siskiyou Blvd.

Read More >

Obituary: Sandra Risser

Obituary: Sandra Risser, who began life in quiet eastern Nebraska before building a family and a professional career in Washington, D.C., and the San Francisco Bay Area, died Jan. 4 in Ashland. She was 87.

Read More >

Our Sponsors

City of Ashland Public Notice Ashland Oregon
Ashland Parks and Recreation Ashland Oregon
Ashland.news House Ad

Explore More...

The city of Ashland’s police volunteer program, which had around 30 volunteers before the COVID pandemic, now has only around 10. Volunteers help put extra eyes on patrol areas such as Lithia Park and the bike path and help manage special events such as parades.
Oregon could have far fewer firefighters ready to battle blazes on federal lands next fire season — and may do less advance work aimed at mitigating the risk of large fires — due to the Trump administration’s hiring freeze and funding cuts, according to U.S. lawmakers.
“Be Gun Smart… Whether or Not You Own a Firearm” is a free public program set for 4 to 5:30 p.m. Tuesday, March 4, in the Gresham Room at the Ashland Public Library, 410 Siskiyou Blvd. The speakers will be Ashland Police Chief Tighe O’Meara and Jackson County Sheriff Nate Sickler. 
The Ashland Community Emergency Response Team will offer training on how to offer basic medical aid, including administering naloxone in case of opioid overdoses, on Wednesday evening, Feb. 12. The training is free and open to the public starting at 6 p.m. at Ashland Fire Station No. 1 at 455 Siskiyou Blvd.
City Corner: The 2024 city of Ashland list of accomplishments highlights numerous advancements and initiatives across various departments. Following is a summary of the key achievements, including completion of the wastewater treatment plant outfall relocation and UV system upgrades.
ashland.news logo

Subscribe to the newsletter and get local news sent directly to your inbox.

(It’s free)

Don't Miss Our Top Stories

Get our newsletter delivered to your inbox three times a week.
It’s FREE and you can cancel anytime.