Sometimes even cats and dogs need advice
By Strider the Dog
Dear Strider,
For some unknown reason, one of my humans brought home a dog, and I am very upset. (No offense. I’m sure you’re a very nice guy. Nothing personal. It’s just that this has always been a cat-only home.)
The dog is a bit younger than I am and really wants to be friends, but I’m just not that into him. How can I get him to leave me alone without resorting to violence? The humans really seem to want us to get along and be a family.
— Chagrined Feline
Dear Chagrined,
I get this. It’s always a shocker when the humans bring another being into the pack. (Do cats call it a pack? Editor, please fact check.) (Editor: Collective noun for cats is “clowder.” Who knew? Cats, I suppose.) I can relate, even if from a different perspective. In the dog park, when somebody brings a puppy in, allegedly to “socialize” it, they just let it do whatever it wants, while gushing about how cute it is. This while the horrible little ball of fluff is getting under the legs of the adults, nipping at their feet, when more serious animals just want to be left alone to get down to the business of sniffing and scratching the dirt.
(I think you guys like scratching dirt, too? I’m trying to find some common ground here.)
It’s good for younger animals to learn that not everyone wants to be friends right off the bat. It takes time. Patience. An ability to not bug somebody while they’re busy with their own work.
You have the opportunity to teach this dog a valuable lesson about how not everything in the world revolves around its needs. I do not support resorting to violence. Violence should never be used as a problem solver.
However, this does not eliminate the usefulness of deterrence. I give a sharp bark, a few bared teeth, and a hackle raise. If this doesn’t work, a paw pushing the puppy to the ground to show I mean business usually gets some respect. Also it has the added benefit of warning the humans they should move their Cutsie-Wootsie to a safer place.
Maybe you could do your version of this? A hiss, an arched back, a swipe at the nose that just misses its target? This may encourage the humans around you to remove the dog until peace is restored. And who knows? You guys might make a family when everybody learns to respect everyone else’s rights.
It could happen.
Good luck.
Dear Strider,
As a fellow canine, I’m grateful for your column and its wisdom. I’m writing with a problem perhaps many of us can relate to. Whenever there is a family gathering, whether it’s a holiday or a dinner party, I am relegated to the back porch or the basement because a certain close relative doesn’t like dogs (though the official complaint is “allergies”).
Is there any way I can convince the humans to let me stay for the festivities? I’m very well behaved, I always (OK, usually) give people their space, and I never sneak food from the table (well, hardly ever).
— An Ashland Dog Hoping for a Seat at the Table
Dear An,
Oh, how I feel for you. It’s your pack, and this is someone who has upset the balance. But let me ask you this. You want your humans to be happy, right? It makes you happy for them to be worry free, correct? They do the same for you. It’s all part of being a healthy, loving pack.
How about you think about what your humans need here? They probably would rather have you there, too. But this is the only time they can hang out with a childhood pack mate, am I right? You might have lucked out there to get a family that is so concerned about others.
Also, since Easter is coming up fast, you’ll be spared the clueless guest and/or the too-young-to-know-better child trying to feed you bits of chocolate Easter egg under the festive table. As you know, since chocolate is poison to us dogs, this would result in a trip to the emergency pet hospital to have your stomach pumped. Not a pleasant scenario.
On the other hand, if you back off and give your family a chance to know what’s best here, I bet you get extra love and extra non-poisonous dog treats for being such a good pup. You’ll have the happiness of knowing you made your humans happy. They’ll be extra happy for not having to pay close attention to the dog feeding habits of their guests. Win win!
We dogs love that stuff.
Good luck.
Want advice from a Dog About Town? Comments from all species welcome. Just email [email protected].
