On holiday stress and panache with maple syrup and butter
By Strider the Dog
Dear Strider,
The holidays are upon us, and frankly I’m dreading them. Thanksgiving was bad enough. The fighting that goes on in my family you wouldn’t believe. This year it was a fight over where it should be held. One branch of the family wanted a “destination holiday,” in Mexico of all places. Naturally, this idea came from a relative who shall remain nameless (okay, it’s my sister-in-law), the one who gets really super offended if the rest of us don’t want to do what she thinks is proper for a family holiday. Don’t even get me started on the Incident of the White Tablecloth. I mean, so I use placemats? Sue me.
I couldn’t help myself. I flat out refused to move myself, my husband and our three kids to Mexico for the holiday, and I would have done that even if it wasn’t ridiculous to celebrate an American holiday in another country when you’re already in America. Just the idea of being on two or even three different planes during one of the busiest travel times of the year gave me a migraine.
So now that branch of the family is mad at me. Especially since we had everyone who didn’t want to go international over to our house for a potluck, followed by board games and watching old movies. I really enjoyed that.
Here comes Christmas. And there are rumblings of talks about a formal dinner: the good china, sterling silverware, crystal wine glasses, Beef Wellington, baby potatoes with caviar (domestic), fruitcake, cloth napkins (white) and a tree decorated all in gold. At least this holiday plan is closer to home. Still I hate the idea of spending my Christmas Day dressing up and getting the kids dressed up, going out to eat finicky food when we’d all rather put on our Christmas pajamas and have pizza.
What to do? Any advice for me, Strider?
— Grinchette
Dear Grinchette,
On the one hand, someone wants you to do something you don’t want to do. On the other hand, there is something you would rather do. In Dog World, that’s an easy choice. The something you would rather do every time.
Unless.
Even in Dog World, sometimes we have to do stuff that doesn’t register high on our own personal joy meter, especially when it’s something that will make a well-meaning loved one happy. For example, I am not crazy about the reindeer horn headband a younger member of our family enjoys seeing me sport when they visit at Christmas time. Or the Santa hat, for that matter. But you know, it’s only when they visit, and it makes them so happy. So even though I cringe with embarrassment when I’ve got the damn things on, I will, just for the festive season, grin and sort of bear it, even posing for selfies with the tyke while so ridiculously adorned.
Naturally, I would much rather just get on with staring out the window for potential squirrel movement. But I like the child. So it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. Once in a while, anyway.
No one can tell you what compromise you and your family are willing to make for a fellow member of your pack. Only you know your limits and what you’re willing to put up with. I totally agree going to Mexico for Thanksgiving was a bridge too far, no matter how much affection you feel for the ones who suggested it. But a formal dinner, taking, what, maybe three hours of your time? That one doesn’t seem so tough. Especially since it sounds like someone else will be doing all the work. If you get asked to clean all that china and crystal and silver and napery, write me again. I’ll probably have a different answer for you.
Until then, why not celebrate the day after Christmas with pizza and pajamas? Could be the start of a beautiful family tradition. Besides, those baby potatoes with caviar sound pretty yummy.
Don’t even get me started on the Beef Wellington.
Dear Strider,
About that question you answered on why Woody the Puppy Intern doesn’t work for you anymore (Canine news and crosswords 11/19/25). Yeah, totally get it. Besides, that puppy didn’t lose half an ear like you did!
— Wendy E.
Dear Wendy,
Love the encouragement. I forwarded this to our editor, and he told me you’ve been one of the biggest supporters of independent journalism in the Rogue Valley. So I guess it’s no surprise I feel like you’re a big supporter of me, a mere dog advice columnist. A hundred woofs for that.
One small point. I have both ears. I mean, they’re both whole, not one whole and one half. The ear you’re talking about is just crushed. I overheard a vet tell Tod it was because I’d had an infection nobody did anything about, back when I was a pup on the street. You’ll be happy to know it doesn’t hurt. I do hear things a little weird, as if they’re coming from the wrong direction sometimes. But honestly, I think the ear just adds to my general air of mystery. I’ve been told it shows panache.
Not that I know what panache means. But it sounds like pancake, so I know it’s something good. I hope it’s okay if I say your email shows panache. A big stack of panache. With maple syrup and butter!
So thank you.
Wondering how to have a happy holiday? Or reveling in being a grinch? Either way, our advice columnist would love to hear from you. Just email [email protected]s.
