What was Trump thinking when he decided to ask Georgia’s secretary of state to find 11,780 votes? It might have played out this way …

By Michael O’Looney

Sometimes I wonder about what was in Trump’s mind before he placed his ill-advised call to Georgia’s Secretary of State on Jan. 2, 2021. Since I’m not sure who the ex-president spoke with before making that call, I picture him speaking with a fictitious, factually oriented adviser by the name of Joe Smith.…

DT: I think we need to call what’s-his-name down in Georgia —

JS: Brad Raffensperger.

DT: — and tell him I need 11,780 votes to carry the election my way.

JS: Don’t think that’s a good idea, Mr. President.

DT: I think it’s clear to everyone I won Georgia. I won that state by a landslide back in 2016 — ditto for 2020.

JS: Well, the dynamics in Georgia have changed in the past four years. It’s become more racially diverse —

DT: Listen, Joe, those crackers down there always vote for me. The Demos had thousands of people under the legal voting age cast their vote for your namesake.

JS: That’s been proven false, Mr. President.

DT: Fulton County was shredding votes. We all know that.

JS: That’s been proven to be not quite true.

DT: It’s statistically impossible I lost that state. I heard 17,000 votes were illegally flipped from me to your namesake.

JS: Not really —

DT: And thousands of votes were cast by dead people. That’s a fact.

JS: Again, sir, that fact has never been proven. Raffensperger admitted that they found just four such votes.

DT: Joe, read the White House memos I wrote. And those Dominion voting machines calculated thousands of votes for your namesake that — well, I don’t know how but those machines are corrupt!

JS: Sir, what about your pledge to protect, preserve and defend the Constitution?

DT: Just words, Joe. If I cared about words and truth I wouldn’t be a politician.

JS: Back to Georgia. Fact is, Mr. President, the Demos just beat us getting out the vote.

DT: Not possible. We have hate on our side. Hate is more effective getting out the vote than preppy kids going house to house. My base hates liberals. That’s a fact. Hate got me elected in 2016. Some Republicans may dislike me but they hate liberals more.

JS: You know, sir, you’ll be the first president to call the election rigged, the first to refuse to admit he lost, the first who would not hand over the reins of power to his successor —

DT: Good. It’s good to be first. When you’re first, you’re a winner. And winning is all I care about.

JS: Not the people of America — I mean, not the people of America?

DT: Oh sure. I care about my base. Because they’ll see to it I’m a winner. And Georgia’s the only thing that’s standing in my way. Just 11,780 votes —

JS: Winning Georgia won’t help, sir. You lost the electoral college by 74 votes. Georgia would’ve given you just 16 votes.

DT: Is that a fact?

JS: Yes, sir.

DT: Hmmm…. No matter. Hand me the telephone.

Michael O’Looney lives in Talent.

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