But that doesn’t mean you have to listen to them

By Strider the Dog

Dear Strider,

I know you’ve been getting a lot of questions lately about how to deal with obnoxious, angry people. So here’s another one for your collection.

What about on social media? I’ll find I put up what seems to me to be a perfectly bland post, something like “I don’t like pineapple on pizza,” — as a keen reader of your column, I know you agree with me on that one — and the next thing I know, it’s started a fight. There are the people who love pineapple on pizza, who think I’m dissing their likes and dislikes.

Then it gets out of control with people who hate pineapple thinking I’m one of them, and attacking the people who love pineapple on pizza. Next thing you know, I feel responsible for starting World War III.

All I wanted to do was make some kind of boring comment on social media. Is there a way to do that without igniting a firestorm?

Any advice for me, Strider?

— Social Media Klutz

Dear Klutz,

I hear you. But you know, I think the best advice I can give you is just ignore anyone who isn’t nice.

In my experience, people just like to argue. They especially like to argue with people who don’t share their opinions, though why is a mystery to me. Isn’t it better to have a lot of opinions rather than just one kind? Like dogs. Wouldn’t it be boring to have nothing but Labradors? Or Cocker Spaniels? I mean, those are great breeds, but you want more of a mix, don’t you? I know I do.

My considered dog advice is just get on with being happy, and with not ordering pineapple on your pizza.

After that, see what life has to offer! Hoping it’s all delicious, too!

Dear Strider,

I’m a trans college student, so you can imagine how difficult some interactions have become lately, what with the media and the government piling on us. I’m like, come on, we’re only one per cent of the population, don’t you guys have something better to worry about?  Like achieving world peace? Or ending world hunger? Something like that?

So my question is, how do I handle people who get into my business? The ones who can’t stop lecturing me about something they assume they know more about than the  person who is actually living it? Family members in particular. I know I can walk away from strangers, but it’s hard to walk away from an uncle who wants to talk about this at length “for your own good.”

What do you think?

— Tired of Being Lectured

Dear Tired,

I hear you loud and clear. So I’m thinking about something Tod says to strangers when we’re out for a walk, and they want to give her advice. I have arthritis, and some days it’s worse than others. Then I limp. This woman stopped us and gave Tod a little lecture about how she was probably feeding me wrong, with all sorts of foods that were making my pain worse, how she should just feed me a raw meat diet.

Tod listened for a while, smiled pleasantly, looked the woman straight in the eye and said, “How charming of you to take such an interest in my life.” She kept looking the woman in the eye and — I think this is the important part — stayed quiet until the woman got flustered and flounced away.

Here are the key points: Be pleasant. Look them in the eye so they know you mean business. Stay quiet until it dawns on them how rude they’re being and they leave you alone.

This is a version of what a southern dog visiting our dog park, a Catahoula, I believe, once told me works in the south. He said his guardian would just say, “Bless your heart,” and then stay quiet until the other person shut up.

You might try that one with older relatives. Anyway, let me know if either of these strategies works for you!

And what a shame that your own family can’t just let you be you. As long as you let them be them, of course.

Just saying.

World got you down?  Share it with our advice columnist, Strider the Dog, and let him cheer you right up! Just email [email protected]