When it’s time for your dog to leave, how do you know?

By Strider the Dog

Dear Strider,

Maybe by the time you get this and answer, I’ll have figured it out as best as I can. But in the meantime, I just think you might have some words of wisdom for me.

My dog, who I love very much, is getting old. She doesn’t walk very well any more, and she’s blind and pretty much deaf. But she still enjoys her meals, and when I can get her out, likes lying in the sun and hobbling around sniffing things.

I know the end is probably near. And I don’t want her to suffer when it is. Do you have any advice for how to know when it’s time for her to go? And for how I should arrange things so they’re the most comfortable for her?

Thanks so much in advance.

— Dog Guardian

Dear Guardian,

What you’re talking about is the hardest time between human and dog. We don’t want to leave each other. But that’s part of being human and dog. So we can’t help it.

It’s very sad, and I’m sad for you and your dog. Being sad is part of being human and dog, too. It goes along with all the wonderful times you had together, because if you hadn’t had those times, you wouldn’t be really sad. I have to think about that when I think about leaving my own pack.

Every dog, just like every human, is different, so there’s no set answer, though there is one thing you have to do if you can, which is be there with your dog when she crosses the rainbow bridge. I can absolutely guarantee you that’s what she wants, and that you’re what she’ll want to see as she passes over. Whether this is at a veterinary hospital, or at home with an in-home vet visit, or even when she suddenly wants to move on — she wants you to be there.

There are a few ways we dogs try to tell you it’s time for us to move on. We stop wanting to do the things we did that were fun for us, and then we stop eating. Of course, not all dogs are like that. Our Pearl went on a hike, quite happily, the day before she died of old age, and she had a good dinner too. But we woke up in the middle of the night to hear she was breathing funny and wouldn’t move. We knew what that meant, and our guardians put her on a bed in front of her favorite lookout. They called the in-home vet, but she died on her own a few hours later with us all there.

That was Pearl. She let us know it was time. I think your dog will let you know, too.

One last word: you do need to be willing to let her go when she wants to leave. We dogs hate to disappoint our humans. We know it’s going to be hard to be left. We’ll hang on longer than we should as long as you want us to stay. If you tell her it’s okay to move on, that’d be a real act of love.

In the meantime, I’ll be thinking about you and your dog, hoping for a safe passage for her and, for you, memories of all the great times you had together.

My paw on your foot. Seriously.

Feeling sad? Feeling glad? Feeling anything in between? Want to share with somebody who cares? That would be our advice columnist, Strider the Dog. Just email [email protected].