What to do when a strange cat ‘invades,’ and how to deal with (ahem) age-related weight gain

By Strider the Dog

Dear Strider,

We need advice. We are two indoor cats who are tormented by a feline on the outside. We are not sure where this neighbor lives, but she comes by often and peeks into our door, which is both frightening and kind of entertaining. She also basks in our garden and makes herself at right at home, seemingly unaware that this is our territory. 

We are happy being inside, where it’s safe and calm, but we think it’s a little rude for this neighbor cat to flaunt her freedom in our own backyard. We also worry about her in traffic and being out after dark. What’s the best way to tell her she should stay closer to home? 

— Ashland Cats

Dear Cats,

I’m struck by the ambivalence here. On both sides.

There’s that word “tormented.” You both say you’re happy cats inside, yet you say this other cat “flaunts her freedom,” which, dear Cats, kind of implies you’re envious of her rolling around on the grass outside.

You also say she “peeks” inside, like she’s curious about what kind of life you both have in there. And possibly envious as well.  You think her peeking is both “frightening and kind of entertaining.” It sounds like you’re interested in her life, and she’s interested in yours. She’s living the life of the Dangerous Rebel, and you guys are living the life of Pampered Pets. You’re Rebel Curious. She’s (probably) Pampered Envious.

Maybe try to make friends? That’s what we dogs would do. I get that the inside/outside dynamic kind of limits your interactions, but when she peeks? How about then? Maybe tell her she’s welcome to roll on your territory, and a great trade would be for her to come and tell you one of her outside adventures? Tell her how much you admire her life. Hang on her every word so she wants to continue to hang out with you.

Then when you get friendly, and trust each other more (do cats trust each other? I’m unsure about the science here), you can gently express your worry about the risks your average rebel runs, especially in traffic. She may hear you then. I would just lay on the flattery and admiration. In my experience, that is the only thing that works to get cats to listen to you. Well, that and the spray bottle. But this is not a case for that. It’s always best to try to resolve these issues without getting the humans and their opposable thumbs involved.  

No offense. I’m sure you know what I mean.

Good luck.

Dear Strider,

My guardian has taken to cutting back my food. I can’t figure out why. True, I’m a full-figured gal, but that’s always been the case, all 14 years we’ve been together.

What on earth are they thinking? Do you have advice for me on how to communicate my concern here?

— Don’t Say Fat Cat

Dear Don’t,

How can I put this tactfully? As we age, we tend to put on weight. I have some experience of this myself. At first I was annoyed when Tod started calling me “Bulky Boy,” albeit in her usual affectionate tones.

Then I got a look at myself as we passed a shop’s window. Hoo boy. Who is that dog? I asked myself. The answer was kind of a jolt.

So now when Tod cuts my food back, I don’t give her a look like she’s torturing me. I know she’s trying to do what’s best for my lifespan.

Maybe that’s happening in your house, too? I mean, 14 is a great age, congratulations. And congratulations on having a cat guardian who seems to be looking out for your health.

Just saying. You know.

Listen, I was a street dog, and I know what it’s like to need vet care when you’re not sure you can afford it. Midge Raymond’s May 27th Catty Corner article will warm your heart with its news about a group that helps low income and unhoused people’s pets — cats and dogs. Have a read, and maybe make a donation.

In the meantime, feeling low? Want a friend? Advice columnist, Strider the Dog, veteran of the street and the dog park, is here for you. Just email [email protected].