When faced with aggressive barks, a gentle but firm approach can work wonders

By Strider the Dog

Dear Strider,

As a close observer of human nature, you might be able to help me with a question that has been dogging me. What advice do you have for talking with neighbors and close family whose politics are miles away from mine?  As elections are upon us, I seem to get embroiled in discussions that I can’t easily avoid. I find myself often (way too often) resorting to biting comments. 

— Confused in California

Dear Confused,

Don’t bite! That’s the way to get you sent to the doghouse. Also, in my experience, it’s pretty ineffective, since onlookers tend to blame the biter rather than whoever provoked it in the first place. It makes the offender feel smug, too, which is to be avoided.

Don’t get me wrong. You often need to remind an irritating creature that it needs to back off. I find a gentle but firm approach works wonders. What you want, ideally, is something that warns the perpetrator not to go any further, while remaining unnoticed by bystanders who otherwise would unwisely join in. This, we hope, keeps the whole interaction more under control.

So with that in mind, I recommend a gentle nip. Look whoever is bugging you straight in the eye and say something along the lines of “How kind of you to be so concerned with what I think.” Or, as Southern dogs like to say, “Bless your heart.” I learned a lot from an Oklahoma hound dog visiting the dog park. He taught me that if the problem persists, a continued silent look straight in the offender’s eyes, along with a vague smile showing one’s teeth, usually gets them to stop barking.

Especially if you are bigger than they are.

The Old Cedar Tree recommends deep breaths, a vague smile, an abstracted look and changing the subject. That’s good advice too.

Good luck.

Dear Strider,

Do dogs ever feel pressure to conform? Or to be the kind of dog their owners want them to be when they’re just not like that, even when they’re too old to change? How do dogs cope with that kind of thing? I mean when you’re full grown of course. At least you don’t have to worry about law school.  Lucky you.

— Frustrated by Ashland Parents

Dear Frustrated,

I hear you. This is a tough one. It’s hard to know when your loved ones should be allowed to give you unsolicited advice, and when they’re not. If you’re not still on their leash, it’s up to you, Frustrated, to let them know when to back off.

I’m assuming your parents are, in fact, loving ones, since, reading between the lines, it sounds like they’re anxious about your future.

So your parents love you. That doesn’t mean they get to tell you what to do when you’re a big dog like myself. By then, you should have learned everything they wanted to teach you and are able to see what works for you and what doesn’t. A kind but firm reminder to them that these decisions are yours, and not theirs, to make, should work. After that, give your mom a kiss on the cheek and change the subject.

By the way, what exactly is “law school”?  If it’s anything like obedience school, I don’t think you need it once you’re past being a puppy like Woody. Unless you like that kind of thing, of course. In which case, definitely go for it.

Up to you, Frustrated. And good luck.

Got a problem? A dream to relate? Our doughty advice columnist, Strider the Dog, is here to hear. Just email [email protected] .