If you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need
By Strider the Dog
Dear Strider,
I have a problem I hope you can help me with. My husband wants to move to the big city (which shall remain nameless, let’s just say Fox News likes to mislead its viewers by calling it a hellscape, which it certainly is not — unless you think lots of food trucks and fresh kale are a sign of the devil). I like to visit that city a lot, but I don’t want to live there. I love it here. We can’t seem to come to a compromise, although I don’t even know what a compromise would be.
Maybe you do?
— Loves it in Ashland
Dear Loves it,
I gave a lot of thought to your compromise problem, and had what I thought was the perfect solution: that you should both move to Eugene, which is about halfway between the big city and Ashland, both in distance and in size. But when I went to the Old Cedar Tree with my solution, it was a no-go. “No,” the Old Cedar Tree said firmly. “Your answer just makes sure neither of them is happy. Go away and think again.”
So I did.
I thought hard about how the Old Cedar Tree said neither of you would be happy if you followed my advice. If you move to the big city, you won’t be happy. If he stays in Ashland, he won’t be happy. At least that’s the way it looks now. We want both of you to be happy. What to do?
Then I thought: how do we know what actually will make you both happy? Is it possible you neither of you know? At least not yet?
Do we know what would make each of you truly happy until we look into it? What if you gave living separately for a short period of time a try? What if he makes a temporary move alone to the big city, and you stay here, just for three months, say? Then see how you both feel? It might turn out that he’s longing for something else that’s hiding behind his wish for a move. Or it might turn out your reasons for wanting to stay here don’t seem so important anymore. Maybe he’ll discover what he really wants, and finds he can work towards that here in the Rogue Valley. Or it might turn out that one of you misses the other so much that it would be more fun, and make you happier, to move to where the other is. Of course it might turn out that both of you are happier living separately. Best to find out what you really feel as soon as you can so you can start living it. You need to figure out what’s most important to you, always remembering that we can’t have every thing in life, we have to choose. And choose wisely. All of life is a compromise, I find, between what you want and what you can have, so the best option is to find the compromise that works best for you. After that, to accept your own decision and not put the responsibility for it on someone else.
The Old Cedar Tree seemed happy with that answer when I put it to them, so I’ll just leave it as it is.
Let me know how you get on, okay?
Hi Strider!
I think you should tell Steve that he is officially out of the Ashland News puzzle doghouse. The Canine Crossword he wrote for you [Crossword: Canine Capers #02, 9/12/25] was as much fun as a good romp in the park! It was engaging, entertaining, and enjoyable. I even solved it! (Well, most of it. I missed two letters.) Steve was a good boy!
My two felines are looking at me now, telling me to, “ask about a cat crossword.” Don’t mind them, Strider, I’ll send them to Steve…
Keep up the good barks! Love hearing from you.
— Raymond
Hi Raymond!
Great to hear from you, as always, and so chuffed that you loved the puzzle our crossword editor Steve Weyer created just for me!
I did put it to him that your cats wanted their own crossword, and he kind of went over the top answering. He said: “our Edu-cat-ed cats (or their humans) should communi-cat-e their desire for cat crosswords directly to Steve. With enough suppli-cat-ions, he’ll dedi-cat-e himself to lo-cat-e sophisti-cat-ed cat-chphrases and cat-egories for your edifi-cat-ion and publi-cat-ion.”
If that’s not felineiferous (is that a word?), I don’t know what is.
But what I do know is a new Canine Caper crossword drops on Tuesday, Nov. 14!
So stay tuned!
Need a judgment call on a particularly tough question? Or just want to chew the fat? That latter is our advice columnist Strider the Dog’s specialty. Just email askstrider@ashland.news.
